End of Life Issue

I’m sure most of us … at least those of us of retirement age … have heard about end of life issues we should address. Do we have a will? Do we have a medical directive? But there’s one issue I haven’t heard addressed and that’s the need for funeral/burial instructions.

This came to my attention several years ago when my pastor’s wife told a small group of us about going to see a man in the church who was in hospice care. The family was fairly new in the congregation. The man, therefore, blew the pastor away when he wanted to discuss his funeral arrangements. He had written out what he wanted. The pastor’s wife said that made her husband’s job so much easier.

Then a few years after that I was invited to take part in a focus group at a nearby funeral home. Of course, they were wanting to sell us on their services but they were also looking to learn what other services they could provide. All of this was underscoring for me the need to make some decisions about what I would want. So I gave it some thought and wrote it all out. I gave a copy to my sister and one to my pastor, assuming that will make things easier for them when my time comes.

But the area I hadn’t paid much attention to was what to do with my remains. My grandfather bought a big grave plot in a local cemetary. Because only two of his seven children are buried there, I assumed there’d be no problem with my being buried there. I knew the person giving the order had to be a direct lineal descendant of the purchaser of the plot but I figured that was easy … he was my grandfather and there were plenty of unused graves.

Then one of the other granddaughters passed away. Her husband and daughter had her cremated. A few years went by and her husband died. Their daughter had him cremated. But she wanted to bury the remains of her parents in the family grave plot. Should be no problem … her mother was a granddaughter just as I am.

Not so fast here. She lives out of town and in helping her with her arrangements, I learned that even though her mother was a granddaughter and entitled to be buried there, since there were other granddaughters (our family runs to girls), they (we) all had to give our permission for the burial. So I’ve been tracking down the out-of-town cousins and getting their written permission letters so my cousin’s daughter can bury her.

I guess the lesson I’ve learned from all this is don’t take anything for granted.  Learn your family tree and keep in touch with your relatives.

Not The Post I Thought I’d Write

This is not the post I thought I’d write. I intended to tell you all about the monthly travelogue which was last night. The subject was Iran and I thought that might prove to be really interesting. Maybe it was. I don’t know because I didn’t go.

Our winter storm lollygagged around and didn’t arrive Thursday when it was forecast. Although it was foggy and rained/snowed most of yesterday, it was too warm for the snow to accumulate or stick to anything. That is, it was too warm until midway through the evening rush hour when the snow got much heavier and started sticking. Most of the streets appeared to be only wet because the traffic kept the snow in a slushy state. But forecasters warned that as soon as the temperatures started dropping, there would be freezing which would mean black ice.  Since my cold was lingering, I decided to be sensible and stayed home. So I can’t tell you about Iran.

The University was trying something new.  They have a new restaurant on campus and were going to serve an Iranian dinner (for a price, of course) before the screening of the film.  The meal was to be a three-course one.  The menu I saw didn’t entice me.  Reservations were necessary and I’m glad I hadn’t made one since I didn’t feel up to venturing out.

Ramblings

I’ve come down with a cold and lack the ability to put coherent thoughts together. So I’m going to ramble a bit in this post.

First, I apologize for the lateness of it. I slept in this morning. Then called and cancelled my tutoring session. I’m going back to bed soon to see if I can sleep off this cold.

This week is my birthday week. The mail has been surprisingly heavy with birthday cards. I don’t normally get birthday greetings from my state senator but I did this week. I’ve also received coupons for a free meal at a favorite restaurant.

But the week has had more than its share of difficulties, especially with paperwork. I’ve been muddling through.

Now the weather is threatening again. Winter storm warnings are out for a storm to begin at 6 p.m. with an accumulation of 3 to 5 inches of mixed snow/rain/wintery mixture. Given my iffy health today, I think I shall miss the Youth Week service at church tonight. Attendance at tomorrow night’s monthly travelogue will depend on how I feel and the condition of the roads.

Last night the speaker at Youth Week said that when Satan sends bad things to you, God can turn them into good … if you praise God. I shall try that and see what comes of this mixed up week.

Bloggers Poetry Post

It is my understanding that bloggers post a poem on February 2. Who cares what the groundhog sees when we can read some nice poems while drinking a nice beverage. Here’s the one I’ve selected for this year:

One, Two, Three
by Henry Cuyler Bunner

It was an old, old, old, old lady
And a boy that was half past three;
And the way that they played together
Was beautiful to see.

She couldn’t go romping and jumping,
And the boy no more he;
For he was a thin little fellow
With a thin little twisted knee.

They sat in the yellow sunlight,
Out under the maple tree;
And the games they played I’ll tell you,
Just as it was told to me.

It was hide-and-go-seek they were playing,
Though you’d never have known it to be –
With an old, old, old, old lady
And a boy with a twisted knee.

The boy would bend his face down
On his little sound right knee,
And he guessed where she was hiding
In guesses One, Two, Three.

“You are in the china closet!”
He would laugh and cry with glee –
It wasn’t the china closet,
But he still had Two and Three.

“You are up in Papa’s big bedroom,
In the chest with the queer old key!”
And she said, “You are warm and warmer;
But you’re not quite right,” said she.

“It can’t be the little cupboard
Where Mama’s things used to be –
So it must be in the clothespress, Gran’ma!”
And he found her with his Three.

Then she covered her face with her fingers
That were wrinkled and white and wee,
And she guessed where the boy was hiding
With a One and a Two and a Three.

And they never had stirred from their places,
Right under the maple tree –
This old, old, old, old lday,
And the boy with the lame little knee –
Thie dear, dear, dear, old lady
And the boy who was half past three.

SLSO Town Hall Meeting

Thursday night I attended the Town Hall meeting the St. Louis Symphony hosted. Attendance is by invitation. Most of the audience is on the stage but I got there right as it was starting so was instructed to sit on the left side in the auditorium. Since the meeting was being filmed and broadcast on TV, I was happy not to be on the stage.

I’ve attended one or two of these meetings in the past. They’re always interesting.  It always opens with a musical piece or two played by a few of the orchestra members.  This year it was a group of maybe eight.  I don’t know what the first piece was (they were already playing when I found a seat) but the second was a sort of medley of Irish fiddle tunes. 

The president of the symphony gives information about how they’re doing on their long range plan. Then he and the music director/conductor chat about the upcoming season. The music director has a nice dry sense of humor so this is the best part of the meeting in my opinion.

I must say the programming for the new season looks really interesting. They’re making it hard to pick which concerts to attend since there’s no way I can afford to go to all of them. As part of the orchestral program, there is going to be a Russian festival within the season. Some of the composers are familiar to me but others are not.

In addition to the orchestral series, there is a SLSO Presents section. These are concerts where they bring in different kinds of music groups to play with the orchestra. I remember that one group that will be coming is an ABBA-like group and another is a jazz trumpeter. To kick off the season will be another gala. The one this year featured Yo Yo Ma and the one next season will feature either Roberta or Renee (not sure of the first name) Fleming.

The last 20 minutes or so is a Q&A with the audience. I was a little disappointed that no one asked about the outcome of the Saturday night broadcasts. The radio station hosting them is in the process of being sold and the new owners may not want to carry the program. The music director was asked about how someone would go about getting a new composer’s music to the orchestra. As part of his response, he said, “Dead composers are much easier to work with. They don’t phone and say, ‘You played my fifth Symphony. I’ve written a sixth. Why don’t you play it?’”  But the orchestra does play a lot of new music as well as the old established orchestral stuff.

The meeting was followed by a reception in the lobby of the symphony hall. Nice munchies of cheese, crackers, breads, vegetables and dill dip and some hot nibbles as well.

FOs, New Project, Priorities

I have two FOs! I’m so excited. Both are scarves. The first one is a diagonal knit scarf in a funky novelty type yarn or maybe you’d call it a kind of ribbon yarn. It has short pieces of other ribbons hanging off the yarn so they stick out of the knitted fabric. Heaven only knows when or where or on what I will wear it. But it was an interesting knit project and a nice reminder of the knit shop in Indianapolis where I bought the yarn during a trip several years ago.

The second FO is my striped scarf. I don’t like the Noro yarn which the designer designated for this pattern so I substituted Mochi Plus. It’s a lovely soft yarn and will feel ever so good snugged against my neck, especially when it is bitter cold. However, I’m not fond of this yarn. It is very lightly spun so there are places where it’s almost as thin as sewing thread and other places where it is like roving. I should think knitting anything more than a scarf in it would be problematical because of the yarn construction. This striped scarf went on for ever. It is the longest scarf I’ve ever knitted. But it is completed now and will be worn tonight when I attend the Symphony’s Town Hall meeting.

My new project is my great-nephew’s birthday sweater. It is a striped sweater and will use up some yarns from my stash along with the main color which I purchased. The fronts and back are knit in one piece on a round needle. I’ve started it and have the hem complete and am getting ready to start the body. I looked at the picture on the pattern and decided I didn’t like the looks of the sleeves. They’re kind of a dropped shoulder style but the stitches are picked up and knit down in the round on DPNs. Not sure I like that but I’ll wait till I get there to decide whether or not I need to change that. One thing I will change is the button band. The pattern calls for that to be crocheted. Not for this gal. So I’ll figure out a different band to go on the sweater.

To completely change the subject … last night President Obama gave his State of the Union Speech. Attendance at Bible Study was very low and I wondered if people were home listening to the speech. They may have been but I think the weather forecast (snow and freezing rain) probably had more to do with it. The speech was still being given when I got in my car after the service and I fully expected the major radio station in the city would be broadcasting it. I was listening to it on a different station in the car. I could not believe my ears when I realized that that major radio station, the one we all listen to during major storms or events, was broadcasting a hockey game. Somehow that just didn’t seem right to me. Is profit the motive for not broadcasting the President’s speech?  When did sports become more important than what is happening in the U.S.?

What’s in the air?

Have you ever wondered what’s in the air around you? Yesterday, as is my custom, I had my radio playing, more for background noise than anything else. But it suddenly occurred to me that the commentator was spewing lots of negativity into “my” air. I decided I didn’t need that so snapped the radio off.

I think I’m going to pay more attention to what fills the air around me. I wouldn’t allow noxious fumes to be in my air so why should I allow noxious ideas and words to fill my home or car? It only takes a flick of the wrist to find another radio station or even the off button.

I wonder how much tension we add to our lives by mindlessly listening to whatever comes across the TV or radio. My house seemed so peaceful yesterday without all that negativity.

The difference three letters can make

I was reading in a devotional book the other day and the author of that day’s reading brought up something I hadn’t really considered. So often we say “yes, but” when asked to take on a project. “Yes, but” is a popular answer to questions. We think it is our responsibility to point out all the obstacles to whatever is being proposed.

How would the outcome change if instead of “yes, but” we responded “yes, and.” Both words after the “yes” are three letters long. But what a difference they make!

“Yes, and” adds to the idea being proposed. It can unleash creativity as additional avenues to a solution are explored. It can add encouragement to bolster someone lacking confidence. It moves one from being negative to being positive.

What would life be like if we lived it as “yes, and” people? What good could we accomplish?

Comfort of Small Rituals

I’ve been thinking about how we each have personal rituals which give us comfort. It could be something as simple as which sock we put on first. If, by chance, we change that, our day doesn’t go as well. We need the comfort of that ritual.

There is a couple who comes to Borders every day for a cup of coffee. That’s their ritual. Now I rather wonder about that one. Why don’t they make coffee at home? Do they come just to get out of the house for a bit? Given the price of coffee and gasoline, it doesn’t seem to me to be economical for them to get their daily cup of coffee at Borders.

But it is a ritual which provides them with something … satisfaction, an excuse for an outing, a chance to talk to others … who knows. This week when I was at knit group, they came in. It was a miserable foggy/rainy day and he drove up to the door to drop her off before parking the car. That was a small change in their ritual but it gave both of them pleasure.

What small rituals do you have?  What kind of comfort do you derive from them?

Reading Fun

I like to read. That’s one reason I volunteer to tutor first and second grade students who are struggling in learning to read. I feel that if I can help them see the fun in reading, they will work harder for their classroom teacher learning phonics, sight words and all the other things which go into learning to read.

One thing which adds to my enjoyment of reading is when a book is set in an area I’ve either lived in or visited. Elaine Viets was a columnist for a local newspaper in my area for a number of years. That’s where I first learned to enjoy her writing.  Then she and her husband moved away.

Somewhere along the line, she started writing mysteries. In the beginning, she set them in St. Louis. While some of the locations were thinly disguised, a lot of them were places you could drive to today. That local flavor added to the story.

Now Elaine lives in Florida and her stories are set in Fort Lauderdale. I’ve visited there but I don’t know that area well. However, I think I’d recognize some of it if I went back. Elaine had described it to me.